Light at the end of the tunnel

     I did it. I've been put through the grinder and I came out the other end a little worse for wear but I'm still chugging along. 2.5 months left in the dumbest military obligation on the planet and I'm a free man. At the risk of scaring most of my friends off with some of the disturbing thoughts that I have endured throughout my tenuous journey in the motherland, all I can say is that I have become a better man because of the psychological crucible I have endured. Actually, I'm still dealing with some issues but I've accepted the fact that everyone has baggage that they'll never be rid of so I'm sucking it the hell up and dealing with it. Being certain about your future and always having a plan is a cliche and overly idealistic, bullshit way of looking at life. I know that now and I'm kicking myself in the ass for having drank from that koolaid bowl for so long. Having roadblocks and detours may be an adventure, but when you're taking that first step starting down a path so dark that even the terms "abyss" and "void" pale in comparison, it has a way of scaring even the manliest man shitless. It takes balls of steel and indescribable conviction to follow through with a plan where there is no end in sight, let alone the first damn step. It's a good thing though, being scared shitless. It has a way of ripping off the rose-shaded goggles with which you view the world. You see things for what they are and not what they could or should be, rooting you in the realm of realistic expectations. In other words, I have no qualms with destroying your skewed perception of life if you unfortunately happen to be in my vicinity. City life has made me a cynical old man with a layer frost around his heart, but I'm still JK underneath all of that. Don't lie, you love it.
    I'm almost done with my preparations for coming back. Just took the GRE, killed it (biomedical engineering, here I come!), and now all I have left is to finish a couple more graduate school applications and I'm worry free until the acceptance (we're staying positive on this front) letters roll in. I'm finally getting to come for a long overdue visit back to Fayetteville using the rest of my vacation days. It almost doesn't feel real anymore since it's something I've wanted for so long. I've been so sick of the city grind that even the mere thought of just kicking back in Fayetteville seems like paradise. Home...ironic though since there is no actual home to return to, haha. Doesn't matter though, it's the place where I planted my roots all those years ago and nothing can change that.
    I started this blog to document my misadventures for those of you who were interested enough to read, then at some point it turned into a place where I would bitch about any and everything that bugged me. Now, I think it's about time we shut this thing down.
       2+ years is a long time to be forced to put your life on hold for something you don't really care for, all because of a technicality. Did I learn anything from being in the military? No. Was it a good experience? The jury is still out on that one, might be for a while. Some people said that I would be remiss if I didn't take advantage of my situation to grow from it but the military hasn't taught me anything I didn't already know. That may sound like an asinine and overly arrogant statement but it's true. Most of the kids here (yes, kids, some straight out of high school and some after a year of college go straight to the military) live so comfortably in this techno age that they need to get the piss kicked out of them during their service so that they can be released back into society as productive citizens. Unfortunately, the military's discipline is lost on some the minute they are discharged, but for the most part, it's pretty effective in enforcing the hierarchical nature of Korean society. I'd like to think that I was raised properly as a well mannered southern gentleman with a Korean twist and even though I've lived a comfortable life, I still experienced my share of hardships and know how to appreciate everything and know better than to think that things should just be handed to me. Kids these days man, you would think that they'd never had a proper ass whippin' in their life. They don't know what it's like not being able to sit or lay down to go to sleep because you got the spanking of your life over some trivial shit, but it's effective...ooooh man is it effective *shudders*. So, you see? JK doesn't need a lesson in manners, hardships and respecting your elders under the guise of military service to straighten him out. I'm awesome. True story.
     Did I learn anything from being in Korea? Putting yourself out there and not giving a thought to what others think of you is one of the most liberating things a person can experience. Also, standing out isn't such a horrible thing. Yeah, I got the "what the hell does this jackass think he's doing" stare a lot when I first got to Korea but I didn't care...still don't care. Fuck yo couch. Also, I think I appreciate my heritage a lot more than I used to and my Korean has gotten exponentially better. I definitely loved spending time with my extended family here, that's for sure. They are something that will be greatly missed when I go back. I'm also thankful for making all the wonderful friends I have made while in Seoul. I saw bits and pieces of my friends in them as well as being drawn to their own individual quirks. Having lived in a city where the nightlife plays an important role in social affairs, I've managed to accumulate a fair share of ridiculous stories ranging almost getting into a fight with a drunken Bruce Lee wannabe to alcohol fueled nights of debauchery and I will be divulging them to whoever is willing to listen when I'm home. This is the last post I'm going to write until I get my grad school letters back and then this blog will be retired. I'm ready to take back the reins to the JK wagon. Thanks to all of you who stuck with me throughout my little adventure. Baby, I'm coming home!

~JK

The beginning of the end

Heyo, long time no see. I forget when my last post was but I'm guessing it's been at least a couple of months.  A lot has changed in that time. I'm working two side jobs proofreading documents/contracts/research papers for translation companies. Taking advantage of my foreigner card here :) I've pretty much quit drinking all together. I guess I've finally passed the boozing part of my young adult life. Don't get me wrong, I'll throw down with the homies if there's reason to do so, but pretty tame otherwise. Now smoking is another story. A cruel mistress nicotine is I tell you. Never thought I'd be hooked on cigarettes but my drive to quit is there. I didn't really smoke that much to begin with and since I've cut out drinking, I'm down to 1 cigarette a day with  2 or 3 days in between where I don't smoke. I can see the light at the end of the smoke free tunnel folks, yeaaaaaaaus.

It's already spring 2013 and I feel like I've been served a temporal bitch slap. Time flies hella fast. I've only got a little under 10 months left of my military service before I'm free. Since deciding not to pursue a graduate degree afterwards, I'm now focusing on finding a chemical engineering job in the states. I know this is going to be pretty hard to do since I'll be applying as an international requiring a sponsor for a work visa, but you gots to try, right? Even if I get shot down by every single company in the US, I won't quit until I've exhausted every possible avenue for employment at "home." Funny isn't it, how I have to bust my ass to get back to the place I call home. If worse comes to worst, I'll look for jobs in Korea in the engineering sector of international companies. This wouldn't be that bad if they were willing to relocate me to the states, but this is my last resort. Or I could just go for a graduate degree if I really don't want to live in Korea.

Since I've been on the healthy living track, I've been working out again after a long hiatus and I feel great. I don't like going to the gyms here because the douchey looking trainers keep bugging me about my form or saying that I'm lifting too heavy. I get it, most people want the crazy ripped, cut body. I'll be content with a leaner version of myself but I want to retain most of my strength. I wasn't enjoying the atmosphere of the gym I was going to so I quit after a couple months and have since been doing workouts in my room with dumbbells and kettle bells. If only there was a cross fit gym in Seoul that didn't cost an ungoldy amount of money for membership, sigh. I wish I had more pictures to post on this blog but I really don't take a lot of pictures. I usually just get too wrapped up in what I'm doing, I kind of just forget about it. I think it sullies the experience, constantly taking pictures.

I know there's been a lot of threats from N. Korea lately in the news. There were a couple of scares where I really thought they were going to try something to the South but that subsided quickly. For the first time in my life I've been interested in reading international news. Back in the states, it was all far away so I really didn't pay attention - out of sight, out of mind. Now, being the target of a power hungry, war mongering, brain dead dictator puts things into perspective.  In this day and age, there is no way any country could get away with a nuclear attack on another country without facing the harshest of punishments. People here in S. Korea know that it's a bunch of hot air coming out of Kim Jong Un's pie hole so it's no surprise when they act like nothing's really going on. Sometimes I wish they would attack us just to get it over with so we can retaliate. A country full of men who are forced to do their mandatory military service for 2 years and nothing to show for all that training. What a waste.

It's a beautiful spring day in Seoul today. I'm sitting in this cafe facing the street with the wind in my face, accompanied by overplayed pop songs blaring over the sound system. It's in settings like these where I finally shut off the rest of the world, shut off my brain, and just enjoy the present. Kinda like this guy:  Bockelman and Bri sent me a care package a couple days ago and I can't wait to get it. Should be here in a week and a half. Surprisingly, they're the first to send me a package and I'm excited. Truly worthy of Craig status, love you guys. I might be jinxing myself again but my plan is to make a visit in late December to Fayetteville and maybe other places in a span of 2 weeks since that's all I get for my vacation. Until then, y'all take care and know that I miss the hell out of you guys. You Craigs are as good as family to me. 10 months and counting :)

~JK