I did it. I've been put through the grinder and I came out the other end a little worse for wear but I'm still chugging along. 2.5 months left in the dumbest military obligation on the planet and I'm a free man. At the risk of scaring most of my friends off with some of the disturbing thoughts that I have endured throughout my tenuous journey in the motherland, all I can say is that I have become a better man because of the psychological crucible I have endured. Actually, I'm still dealing with some issues but I've accepted the fact that everyone has baggage that they'll never be rid of so I'm sucking it the hell up and dealing with it. Being certain about your future and always having a plan is a cliche and overly idealistic, bullshit way of looking at life. I know that now and I'm kicking myself in the ass for having drank from that koolaid bowl for so long. Having roadblocks and detours may be an adventure, but when you're taking that first step starting down a path so dark that even the terms "abyss" and "void" pale in comparison, it has a way of scaring even the manliest man shitless. It takes balls of steel and indescribable conviction to follow through with a plan where there is no end in sight, let alone the first damn step. It's a good thing though, being scared shitless. It has a way of ripping off the rose-shaded goggles with which you view the world. You see things for what they are and not what they could or should be, rooting you in the realm of realistic expectations. In other words, I have no qualms with destroying your skewed perception of life if you unfortunately happen to be in my vicinity. City life has made me a cynical old man with a layer frost around his heart, but I'm still JK underneath all of that. Don't lie, you love it.
I'm almost done with my preparations for coming back. Just took the GRE, killed it (biomedical engineering, here I come!), and now all I have left is to finish a couple more graduate school applications and I'm worry free until the acceptance (we're staying positive on this front) letters roll in. I'm finally getting to come for a long overdue visit back to Fayetteville using the rest of my vacation days. It almost doesn't feel real anymore since it's something I've wanted for so long. I've been so sick of the city grind that even the mere thought of just kicking back in Fayetteville seems like paradise. Home...ironic though since there is no actual home to return to, haha. Doesn't matter though, it's the place where I planted my roots all those years ago and nothing can change that.
I started this blog to document my misadventures for those of you who were interested enough to read, then at some point it turned into a place where I would bitch about any and everything that bugged me. Now, I think it's about time we shut this thing down.
2+ years is a long time to be forced to put your life on hold for something you don't really care for, all because of a technicality. Did I learn anything from being in the military? No. Was it a good experience? The jury is still out on that one, might be for a while. Some people said that I would be remiss if I didn't take advantage of my situation to grow from it but the military hasn't taught me anything I didn't already know. That may sound like an asinine and overly arrogant statement but it's true. Most of the kids here (yes, kids, some straight out of high school and some after a year of college go straight to the military) live so comfortably in this techno age that they need to get the piss kicked out of them during their service so that they can be released back into society as productive citizens. Unfortunately, the military's discipline is lost on some the minute they are discharged, but for the most part, it's pretty effective in enforcing the hierarchical nature of Korean society. I'd like to think that I was raised properly as a well mannered southern gentleman with a Korean twist and even though I've lived a comfortable life, I still experienced my share of hardships and know how to appreciate everything and know better than to think that things should just be handed to me. Kids these days man, you would think that they'd never had a proper ass whippin' in their life. They don't know what it's like not being able to sit or lay down to go to sleep because you got the spanking of your life over some trivial shit, but it's effective...ooooh man is it effective *shudders*. So, you see? JK doesn't need a lesson in manners, hardships and respecting your elders under the guise of military service to straighten him out. I'm awesome. True story.
Did I learn anything from being in Korea? Putting yourself out there and not giving a thought to what others think of you is one of the most liberating things a person can experience. Also, standing out isn't such a horrible thing. Yeah, I got the "what the hell does this jackass think he's doing" stare a lot when I first got to Korea but I didn't care...still don't care. Fuck yo couch. Also, I think I appreciate my heritage a lot more than I used to and my Korean has gotten exponentially better. I definitely loved spending time with my extended family here, that's for sure. They are something that will be greatly missed when I go back. I'm also thankful for making all the wonderful friends I have made while in Seoul. I saw bits and pieces of my friends in them as well as being drawn to their own individual quirks. Having lived in a city where the nightlife plays an important role in social affairs, I've managed to accumulate a fair share of ridiculous stories ranging almost getting into a fight with a drunken Bruce Lee wannabe to alcohol fueled nights of debauchery and I will be divulging them to whoever is willing to listen when I'm home. This is the last post I'm going to write until I get my grad school letters back and then this blog will be retired. I'm ready to take back the reins to the JK wagon. Thanks to all of you who stuck with me throughout my little adventure. Baby, I'm coming home!
~JK
