As most of you know, I was planning a glorious, two week visit to Fayettenam, but those plans got cancelled due to personal reasons. Have no fear, Captain Craig shall make his triumphant return in the year of 2013, believe that! I play it off like it's no big deal, but I really was devastated. I wanted to see my friends, my brother, and my dog. I dreamt about it. I imagined breathing in that tantalizing, Arkansas air once again. The smoky smell from all the fireplaces being burnt, awww yeeeuh, that's the stuff baby. It's ok, I can vicariously experience the joy and warmth of my loved ones through Skype and free calling for now.
I've become horrifyingly complacent with my current routine and I don't like it. Most days I just come home from work, eat, watch my shows, play a couple hours of video games and just knock out for the night. When did I become such an old man? With all that free time, I'd rather be working a second job after work but tutoring/teaching jobs have been hard to come by. Most people want to hire full time or they hire someone from one of the good colleges here to teach their children. Not being the slightest bit of envious, but come on people, do you want your children to learn book English or do you want them to actually be able to speak the language? I understand they need to pass their tests and what not and have no problems with that. I quit my old teaching job a while back because of the commute from there back home. I would have to go straight there without time to eat dinner and I'd get home around midnight on the days I would work. Plus, for the services I was providing, which were speaking/academic writing and the occasional math tutoring (I am an engineer after all :)), I wasn't getting competitive enough pay when compared with other people with lesser skill sets. Not to mention the majority of the students, who weren't in the slightest bit motivated to do any work I assigned them or learn while in class. I can be the best teacher in the world but if they don't match my enthusiasm in class, my desire to teach is going to fade. Anyway, I've been looking for opportunities to make extra cash but nothing yet.
Music. I met a person through Craigslist (don't laugh at me, I'm desperate) who was looking for a guitar player to gig with a while ago. We met a couple times and they seemed enthused about my playing but with my luck, they shaded out and haven't contacted me since lol. WTF. I'm seriously going crazy without my music. One of the last remaining pure joys in my life here and I can't find anyone to play with. Why not gig by myself? Have you ever played with other people? Playing off that musical chemistry you have with someone, it's orgasmic. I've neglected Natalie (my guitar) for a long time and the only musical satisfaction I get these days is when I go to noraebangs (karaoke) with my friends, which is quite often. If you guys have any music that gets your jimmies rustled, let this brother know, I want to be inspired to play again. I've been thinking about picking my sax up again, after all, I was originally known as Saxyman :)
Christmas is around the corner so it's time for me to go and buy everyone cards again. Apologies if they get there a bit after, international mail is so slow. If any of you want, I'd really like the book The 4 Hour Chef by Tim Ferriss. Perfect book for a wannabe chef/foody like me, it has other really interesting content in it. If you've never heard of it, look it up on Youtube and read about it. Even if you're not a chef, it's probably one of the coolest concepts for a book I've heard of in a long time. If I don't receive a copy from you, it's ok, I'll just hate you for a little bit. Haha, not really, I'll probably end up ordering it off Amazon anyway. What else...I need to find out if Pittsburgh wants me to reapply to my graduate program since my deferral to the program will only last until Fall 2013. That is why I've been studying for the GRE again, just in case. I really can't wait to be back in school, but more importantly working so I can actually contribute to society. All my friends out there working and advancing your careers, I'm jealous of you. Try taking a 2 year break from work. It sounds like a dream, but it is not lol. Too much time inside of one's head is the path to insanity I tell you.
That's about it for this one guys. Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I didn't get to celebrate this year nor did I get to watch all the football games. ESPN updates on my phone doesn't do it justice. Everyone stay warm too! It's bloody freezing here. The wind chill is nothing to be trifled with. So cold, your snot will freeze and that's no lie. Not that I would know or anything...Love and miss you guys. I miss you guys this much <-----------------------------------------> x infinity. ^^
~JK
This post really resonates with me. I think your writing touches a nerve because I feel you're writing from the opposite end of the motivation curve. You seem to have a natural hunger and drive for school and career advancement. Your desire to work a second job and impatience to get back into school come from the inside out. I'm so envious. With that kind of internal motivation I really see no way you won't succeed. I'm completely the opposite. It was only after going to NYC last week to see my sis, and falling head over heals for a German dancer who was in the states for a workshop, that I finally woke up and smelled the motivation. This gal wants me to see her in Germany. Nothing like a potential commute between Fayetteville and the old country to make you want to climb a couple tax brackets.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to the chronic boozing. I think it's pretty natural to booze it up when you know you're spinning your wheels. In you're case you don't have a choice, so don't be too hard on yourself. It's a pity you have to do this mandatory service. When I read these posts of yours I hear the song of a caged bird, but I'm sure you'll fly high when you're once again allowed to spread your wings.
I always enjoy your responses Caleb. I'm always intrigued to see what people think after they read.
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