Phase 2 of my Korean adventure is about to begin

The countdown until the second part of my Korean adventure has come down to 5 days.  The only thing about basic training I'm not looking forward to is the cold ass weather and the fact that my Korean is shittay.  I don't want to stand around like an idiot because I didn't understand some order while everyone else eagerly goes like a pack of obedient dogs.  I'm the asshole pup that's going to sit there and piss all over the carpet.  Haha!  After surviving 4 weeks, I finally get to start the countdown to the day I return to the states.  I believe it's somewhere around 1 year and 10ish months that I have to do government service for, which doesn't seem that long.  That gives me plenty of time to contemplate my future when I return.  Shall I continue with my original plan and go to Pittsburgh when I return or apply to medical school, something that I've always wanted to do?  Hmmmmm.

     It might seem that I'm not enjoying myself here in Korea, partially due to the types of stuff I write about in this blog, but I am. I would compare living here to what it was like in New York during the short time I was there.  The only complaint I have is that everything is so spread out to the point that the thought of commuting to go wherever sometimes acts as a deterrent.  The end result is me staying in some days, having a glass of wine by myself.  Other than that there are lots of fun things and good food to be experienced.  Four months have already past since I've arrived, but it seemed like the time just went by in the blink of an eye.  From a tourist standpoint, I haven't done that much in the way of sight seeing, just the bare minimum.  I loathe museums and tours filled with camera toting foreigners.  I do, however, love being immersed in a culture.  You can only learn so much from reading and going on tours, but there's much more you can learn by living amongst the people.  That's the same philosophy I teach my English students. It's sad and pathetic that the parent's of these students force their children to cram all they can out of English grammar books and what not, but the results are fruitless.  I tell the kids that the only true way to master a language is not out of books, but actually living in the country whose language you're attempting to learn or surrounding yourself with the language.  As a result of pushy parenting, a percentage of the students I teach don't even want to learn English.  They're pushed into these academies against their will and are expected to study and learn.  I don't want to teach kids who don't want to learn.  It's a waste of my time and theirs, especially if they're just going to go through the motions and turn in half assed homework assignments.  After a while, the parents don't see any improvements in their kid's English proficiency and what do they do?  They come to the academy and bitch about how bad the teacher is and that their child isn't learning anything.  NO SHIT lady.  If you took the time to actually listen to your kids and took into account what their interests are, you wouldn't be flushing money down the toilet on an extra-curricular education that isn't benefitting anybody.  That is one aspect of Korean culture that I ABSOLUTELY despise and pity.  

    Hell, I don't even know how I ended up talking about idiotic parents.  Anyway, I can't wait for warmer weather, for one of the Craigs to join me here, and to the next chapter of "The Adventures of Craig: South Korea."  I should write a book with that title.  Agree?  Until next time, miss and love y'all.  I won't be able to answer texts or emails, the whole 9 yards while in basic training so just keep that in mind, and I'll talk to you in about a month.  Byeeeeee!

~JK

Introspection

Lately I've been thinking about how I ended up where I am today.  Growing up Asian in a predominantly Caucasian state in the South has had its' challenges.  I was never worried about race when I was younger and I'm thankful but as I grew up, I found it more and more relevant to think about.  Sometimes I'm ashamed to think that I used to want so badly to fit in that I was, at times, embarrassed of my heritage to the point where I tried to hide it.  I faced my share of racism, from being on the receiving end of lingering stares and dirty looks when I would walk into a room to being called by racial slurs in public.  Thankfully, Fayetteville was in the more progressive thinking part of Arkansas so as I was going through my secondary and post-secondary education, it was pretty non-existent.  Sure, there are still remnants of racism here and there, but it's non-existent if you don't seek it out.  I truly felt as if I were an American.  Who wouldn't?  If you've spent the majority of your life in a country, shouldn't you be considered a member of that nation regardless of what some piece of paper says?
      From then until now, being in South Korea, I can't help but feel a loss of racial identity.  Leaving the country that I called home to go to my mother country, it's truly disorienting.  Here, I don't feel as if I'm really Korean.  Sure, I look Korean but my mindset and view of the world is purely American.  I found that I oppose a lot of the ways Koreans view the world and find that a lot of cultural and societal norms here leave a sour taste in my mouth.  Either way, I'm still happy to be here because I can spend time with the extended family that I didn't have in the states.  I have a sense of belonging here, although it's only when I'm surrounded by my wonderful family.  However, when I come back, I'll be coming back as an international student.  Again, I'll be viewed as a new immigrant to the states, rather than a person who was raised in the states as an American and simply had to go on leave for a couple years.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm upset with how things have turned out.  My family did everything that a normal "American" family did.  Paid our taxes, contributed to society, and participated in the community.  My LIFE as I know it was abandoned in the states when I left.  Thankfully, my friends don't see it that way and just think of it as me leaving on vacation for a short time.  They're the only reason I still feel connected to a country that didn't want me.  I'm the clingy, ginger step child of America, haha.
     My childhood has left me with some acceptance issues that I need to deal with.  I don't think it has been a totally negative thing because I've had to develop strong social skills to compensate for my fear of rejection by others.  I know that things will work out for me in the future, but this experience has left a psychological scar on me.  All I can do is push on through life, not worrying about my racial identity and focus on my identity as John Kim instead.  In the end, that's all that matters.  The color of my skin doesn't determine the people that I form relationships with and the types of experiences I will have.  When I die, people won't remember me as "that Korean guy."  They'll remember me as John Kim.  With that in mind, I'm going to continue just as I have been, developing myself into a better human being and not worrying so much about what people see on the outside.  That way, I can better resolve my issues and not acknowledge the platitudes of questioning racial identity.  We're all human after all.  Love and miss all of you to death, and in the words of Bobby Boucher a la The Waterboy, "Thank you all so much for being my friends." ^_^

~JK

Lately...

I have had the strangest feeling, with no vivid reason here to find...
     Name that song!  In other news, I have settled into a prosaic, lifeless routine here.  Most days I wake up to a grey sky, a constant reminder that I'm not in the land of milk and honey anymore.  How I miss the fresh air and breeze of the South.  Teaching at the hagwon has gotten easy and I've since got into the swing of things.  My students' initial reception of me as a teacher was filled with a cold disinterest, but I soon turned it around and most of them are coming around just nicely :).  I ended up not being able to have a real debate class because the level of English isn't there with the kids so it's turned into a presentation/creative writing/storytelling class, which I'm perfectly fine with!  I remember back in the day in junior high when we would have creative writing/free writing sessions and I loved every bit of it.  Words would flow out like an endless stream onto the paper and I'd be completely in the zone.  This is the reason why I'm surprised to see that the kids here aren't so keen on it.  I mean, how hard is it to just write about anything?  What did you do today?  What did you have to eat and was it good?  They've been told their whole lives to study this and that so much that it's hard for them to form their own opinions and thoughts, let alone be creative.  They're all good kids and I like them all so I wish to expand their minds and help them see that there is a life beyond just tests and college.  With that said, the harsh reality these kids face is an unyielding and unforgiving admissions system to college and even work, which focuses mainly on their grades and the college that they attended.  Such a hierarchical society is not conducive for self exploration and development, and for that I truly feel for these kids.  This reminds me how lucky I was to have grown up in the states, even though I got booted later, hehe.
     A little less than 3 weeks from now I'll be in boot camps for 5 weeks.  I'm a little nervous, mostly because of my shoddy Korean and the fact that it's going to be absolutely freezing by the time we start.  I've been lucky recently since the weather broke a little, it's been around the mid 40s.  After being in low 20 to teen weather, 40 feels AMAZING.  What else...I broke my headphone jack off into my laptop so I don't have sound, but my dad bought me a USB headset, thus the problem is remedied for now.  The medicine I'm taking for my weak ass heart is making me tired.  Some days, when I wake up, I just lie there and watch tv shows or movies in bed because I simply can't move or don't want to.  It's like someone gave me a big dose of FUCK IT.  Other than that, I miss all of you dearly, and we shall be reunited soon.  Love and miss y'all.
~JK

The Christmas time blues

Instead of sleeping in and doing whatever their little hearts desire, kids here go to hagwons over winter break.  This means I get to make more money, yeee!  Since our hagwon is on the small side, we held an open house everyday this past week for the parents looking for places for their kids.  The thing most parents were concerned with was that all of the teachers looked too young to be experienced in teaching.  It's certainly insulting from the teacher's standpoint but you can't really blame them, no matter how idiotic their way of thinking is.  Korean students are known to have the highest proficiency test scores in the world but what's that good for?  It just shows they can study.  The biggest problem with teaching these kids is that they don't know how to think for themselves or think critically.  They expect you to just hand them an assignment so they can do the work and then ask for more.  When I told the parents that I teach in a more American, relax and laid back style, they looked concerned lol.  How do you expect kids to develop intellectually by force feeding them material?  Some parents responded well and thought it was a good idea but for the most part, they wanted a strict, force feeding teaching method.  I just told them what they wanted to hear but in Mr. Kim's class, you're going to have some fun ^_^  I'm teaching debate, something I don't know that much about, but it shouldn't be too hard.  Plus, the teachers that I have co-teaching and helping are really cool so it should be fun for the kids.
    I met all the teachers that work at the hagwon for the first time this week and I loved all of them.  About half of them have stayed or studied overseas so communicating in English is no problem, I just mix Korean and English.  Everyone has been really fun to talk to and we all mesh really well.  Finally, I have some people to hang out with lol.  It's a cool feeling to be part of a developing business too, you feel like you're contributing a lot to the growth of the institution.  The director has been taking care of us so well, buying us meals on days where we work for a while and just being like a father figure.  It makes for a comfortable working environment.  We're like a little hagwon family :)
     It's Christmas time here but I don't have any plans :(  I miss all my Craigs back at home but Skype helps ease the sting of loneliness haha.  I'm sure it'll be a lot better next year.  Thus far, I can picture myself living here in Seoul if I had a good job and what not but I don't think I could survive without my friends.  If only we had a teleportation machine invented already, that would really be daebak (awesome).  Things have been going well so far, two more months of freedom until I leave for basic training.  I heard it was damn cold in February from one of the teachers (he did government service like I did after training).  Guess I gotta suck it up, huh?  I'm a little sad too that I have to do my service right after I met all these wonderful people.  I'll still teach there, just at night or on weekends but still, it's a damn shame, damn shame, Mr. Kim.  Not much more to say.  Hope everyone's healthy and staying safe.  Merry Christmas and Happy New Years, we'll be together soon :)  Love and miss y'all.
~JK

Quick update

    Just a short two months away until I ship off to basic training.  It'll probably be the closest thing I get to being an actual soldier but I'll take it.  After 4 weeks of that I start my government job at the Han River Business Administration or something (really don't know what it actually translates to from Korean).  Teaching is solid, I quit the third job to enjoy free days during the week.  My student at the hagwon is preparing to leave for Canada in a couple of weeks so I won't be seeing him until he comes back for summer vacation.  I'm about to teach one of my uncle's kids guitar, which will be fun.  What else...I've been going strong for the 2 months that I've been here but I still miss the states from time to time, though not as much these days.  My mom's coming in on March 4th, yeeeee.
     Today I went and bought some Christmas cards to send back home.  If you don't get one, just know I sent one in spirit form because I love everyone, also I probably don't have your address >.<  After that, I intentionally took a subway line and got myself lost in the city so I could walk around and blast some tunes.  It's pretty damn cold these days and I love it, but there hasn't been any snow yet.  I'm now sitting inside a quaint cafe writing this.  Sorry but the cards will probably arrive a day or two after Christmas, that's what I get for procrastinating.  I'd send gifts too but then I'd probably go broke from the shipping costs ^_^ , I'll just wait until it's birthday time.  Also, I found out that I might not be able to use my vacation days from the government job to visit the states or go outside of the country for that matter, so I'll just see you folks in 2 years.  Can't wait for summer since WinCraig is coming to visit and possibly Ross and his friend.  I'll probably be living in my own place by then so it'll be nice.  If you can visit me, you definitely should.  It's crazy fun here, good food and drinks, and lots of sights to see.  If you like backpacking, there's a ton of mountains to go hike too.  Well that's about it, until we meet again my chingoos (friends), love and miss y'all.  Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

~JK

First night out in Seoul

     Twas a fun night folks.  My friend Jeff, who I've known since 3rd grade, came up to Seoul from Busan for the weekend.  We went out to Hongdae, which is basically just street after street full of street vendors selling clothes, food, and bars.  We sat down for some coffee before we went out to eat.  One thing about Koreans you need to know is that they love to eat and drink while doing it.  We went to a Korean barbecue place and had ourselves some derricious pork accompanied by a couple bottles of soju and 20 oz beers.  The grate we grilled on had a groove in it that went all the way around on the outer edge which is used to put this egg, scallion, and kimchi mixture in.  It's called Gae-ran Jjim, yummy.  After becoming sufficiently tipsy and full, we headed to our next stop.  It was a really dark cafe/bar, really similar to Hugo's.  The ambience was great, only lit by candles.  We ordered a bottle of rose scented/flavored soju and I ordered myself an IPA.  The soju was out of this world, tasted like nothing I've ever had, magnifique!

IPA, this one's for you Ross!

What you know about that rose soju, hater?

  By this time, we were plenty intoxicated, but in true Korean fashion we soldiered on to our next destination to imbibe.  By the way, pretty much all the places we went to had food for you to order so you could eat while drinking.  We walked into an old cabin looking tavern.  Ordered a couple bottles of traditional Korean rice wine called Makkoli along with an order of seafood pancakes.

Makkoli out of tin bowls and seafood pancakes!

  My favorite part of the night was talking with Jeff in Korean since we both kind of suck at it...well him more than me, but you know what I mean.  Surprisingly Jeff's Korean isn't as bad as I thought it would be, it was quite entertaining.  By this point I'm feeling REALLY good, but we stopped at another place.  This place had privacy curtains for each booth where customers sat.  We ordered a pitcher of strawberry soju with a bowl of fruit as our anju (food you eat while drinking, kind of like bar nuts, but better :)).

Pitcher of soju

Big ass bowl of fruit and ice water

Doneskis.

     While drinking we longed for the company of some ladies, so we were prompted to shout "Agassi!" (means something like hey girl) in hopes of attracting some girls to join us.  Didn't work lol.  Drunken jackassery, but I was enjoying myself so I didn't care. Along the way we met a couple of Norwegian chicks and Jeff tried to get them to join us.  They declined but said we should go to the club they were headed to.  I didn't care, I kinda just wanted to drink, ya know?   Seeing that Jeff and I are both Asian, we have an intrinsic love for karaoke.  So what kind of night would it be if we didn't stop by a noraebang (karaoke room, in Korea, you and your guests get your own private room.  Baller status, I know ;) )?  In all of our drunken glory and shamelessness, Jeff and I proceeded to belt out some of our Korean favorites.  To end the night we got some street food.  Fried food dipped in spicy red rice cake sauce and odeng (fish cakes and broth).  We parted ways as I got into a cab for a 20 minute ride home.  By far the most fun night I've had since I've been in Korea but there's no way I could do it all the time.  Maybe if it was less intense and I had more friends in the city to do it with.  Anyway, it's nice to have  a friend from back home here in the same country to meet up like this.  Thank you, Jeff, for my first hangover in a couple of months!  Below is just a shot of what the streets in the part of Hongdae we were in looked like and some other randoms.  Nothing too exciting besides that.  I'm really missing Christmas in Arkansas and I wish I could fly back just for the holidays but as you already know, I can't :(  Have fun for me guys, wish I could be there.  Until next time my Fayettevillains, love and miss y'all.

          ~JK

                                                    

                                                          Crowded streets of Hongdae.

Eating street food with noona.

Dinner with my student.  Spicy chicken with melted cheese and gaeran jjim.  He threw up after we ate because it was too spicy lol.

Downtown Gangnam in Seoul.

Oh, the holidays

     Since my head is all over the place these days, I mistakenly thought that the Thanksgiving lunch I signed up to go to was on Sunday when in fact it was on Saturday.  Damn, Life-1 John-0.  To add insult to injury, all my Craigs are back home for the holidays and instead of going out with them, I'm by myself in this damn coffee shop again.  Maybe I should stop using the internet and seeing whatever everyone else is doing, maybe that'll help with me wanting to be back home for the holidays.  Probably not.  Technology-1 John-0.  As I have found out, it's kind of hard trying to make friends at my age here unless you're introduced by someone.  Thankfully I have my extended family to break the monotonous routine I've developed here but I need some social interaction.  I'm not much of a club guy, in fact I don't really like going to clubs.  I'd rather sit down with people and have beers.  Good luck with that John, most places here are clubs.  Korea-1 John-0.  Do you see a trend here?  I'd love to be in Brewskis or Smoke & Barrel right about now.
     If anyone's wanting to come see me, July is the month to come and here's why.  I met a German pastor through one of my aunts.  He's going to be back in Germany to visit his family in July and offered to let me use his house for the entire month and said it was ok if I had company over.  The government provided the house so it's nice and spacious with multiple levels and it's in one of the busy districts in Seoul so it's really close to a lot of places that people my age enjoy going to.  It also happens to be one of the areas that is densely populated by foreigners.  So yes, come visit your favorite Gyopo (Korean foreigner) in Korea and you'll have free housing in July.
     Aside from my complaining about being bored and lonely, it's really not that bad.  I'm enjoying taking the subway and wandering around the city, headphones blasting.  It would just be nice if I could have someone to share it with.  I started working out since my military stuff is resolved so that should help pass the time.  Work at the hagwon has picked up this next month since all the kids are out for winter break.  Instead of playing and enjoying their break, kids here study over the break.  WTF.  Whatever, it's more money for me.  12 hour days, here I come.  I was offered another part-time position, which will be my 3rd job.  I reluctantly accepted and was before I knew that I was going to be working all day at the hagwon.  I'm thinking about calling and backing out.  Although it's nice to work and the money isn't bad either, I'll be working 6 days/week.  I didn't come to Korea to work, I came back to make a little money before I start my military duty, in addition to soaking in my surroundings.  Would it be shady for me to back out after I took the job already?  I haven't had a problem finding a job thus far due to my Engrish skrillz but because of my personality I consider other people's needs before mine.  I've been told that I need to change that train of thinking because people here are a little more selfish.  Some people have even gone as far as to call me naive lol.  Screw it, I'm quitting.  Another thing, I feel like I'm wasting my engineering degree just sitting here for 2 years and not being able to practice anything.  To be honest, if you gave me a chemical engineering problem right now to solve, I guarantee you I won't be able to solve it.  Well, not really, but you get the idea.  I need something that's more intellectually stimulating, teaching English is almost mindless work for me.  I've been keeping up with advances in the field that I'll be pursuing when I get back to the states, but man, guess I need another hobby?  I might post on a forum or craigslist looking for musicians to play with.  Fun, right?  Let's hope it works.
    The subways here are pretty interesting.  Some days I find myself falling in love multiple times within minutes just from the sheer amount of pretty girls here.  That's pretty shallow, I know, but can you blame me?  You have to be here to believe it.  Aside from pretty girls, there are really loud foreigners that make scenes, people stinking of garlic or kimchi, and old people that just fart indiscriminately.  Man, I can't wait to be old so I can fart whenever I wanted.  I digress.  I've lost sight of what I wanted to say in this post.  I fail.  Blog-1 John-0  I like kimchi? -_-
    Oh yeah, the title of this post is the holidays.  Blog-2 John-0.  Dad is going back to Arkansas sometime near Christmas time so that leaves me with my grandparents here.  Boo.  I would come back with him but I can't since I've committed to the military duty already.  They'll think I'm trying to avoid duty by leaving the country so it's impossible for me to leave now.  FML.  Hopefully I get my vacation days soon after I start my government work.  When it happens, plan on seeing this beautiful, Korean man back in the states, OK?  Miss and love y'all, stay lovely.
~JK outskis

P.S. Thank you for putting up with my bitchassness, it is appreciated ^_^